STOP (OR AT LEAST REDUCE) THE SUFFERING:
A Proposal for All Christians
(Non-Christians are welcome to join in too)
by Mary Kay Coughlan
Let me start by saying that I am writing this to help explain why there is suffering and what I think God is trying to accomplish through the suffering that exists in the world. I am not trying to engage in any debate with atheists to prove the existence of God. I am also not trying to claim first-hand knowledge of what God's motives are. Then why do I feel competent to write on this subject? There are three reasons. (1) I figure you all might be interested in hearing from someone new - besides my husband and your pastor/priest. (2) I feel compelled to write it. I have taken some prescription medicine that normally knocks me out. But every time I start to doze off, a new idea to express in this article pops into my brain and wakes me up again. So here's to the hope that by writing this down I'll eventually get my nap. (3) I feel like I have done my fair share of suffering lately. I can hear you now saying, "Haven't we all!" Well, I'm pregnant, more than halfway through, and I can't seem to stop throwing up. These medicines I'm talking about are supposed to help, and I suppose in their own way they do. It's hard to throw up when you're fast asleep. Anyway, I don't think this makes me uniquely qualified, but I've been in the hospital twice to be re-hydrated because of this never-ending morning sickness (with a third time looming on the horizon). I figure I've spent a great deal of time recently contemplating the topic of suffering, particularly the "why" and the "what can be done" (beyond the "you're pregnant" - which I've been through before - and the "get the baby out"). So here goes...
First, why do we have suffering in this world? Well, if you want to understand God, He's provided you with a little instruction manual called the Bible. Read it, discuss it, and you'll be surprised by what you still have to learn from it. It starts by explaining why suffering came into the world. God created paradise, then He created man (and woman too - so don't start pointing fingers yet, girlfriend). Adam and Eve ... and the serpent - you really want to say that they screwed it up for the rest of us. But let's face it ... can you really imagine yourself sitting in the Garden of Eden without looking at the Tree of Knowledge at least once a day and thinking, "What's wrong with that fruit? It looks just like this fruit." Now don't lie to me - and especially to yourself. How many times has your doctor told you cigarettes, alcohol, saturated fats (name your poison here) are going to kill you? You still haven't stopped just because he said so, have you? Let's move on from this fault that we all share. Back to Adam and Eve - they eat the fruit that God told them would doom them to die. They committed the original sin - the sin of disobedience - and brought suffering into this world. This fault is one we all share - disobedience of God - so again don't start pointing fingers of blame at Adam and Eve. From that point on, we needed clothes and shelter to protect us from the elements. From that point on, we had to work hard to bring home the bacon - and the eggs, fruits, veggies and bread. Also, remember that the Tree of Knowledge really has a longer name - the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Bad. So they sinned, they ate, they wanted to know what's good and what's bad. In order to know that, you have to experience the bad with the good (as they say), and so ... hello suffering, goodbye paradise.
So what's the next logical step ... deal with suffering the best way we can. Learn from it. Maybe at this point you're saying to yourself exactly what I'm saying to myself ... "I've learned all that I think a person can learn from throwing up." Okay, so not exactly
So you may be wondering if I have figured out why I am suffering this wonderful side effect of motherhood. Actually, I think I am getting an idea, but as they say hindsight is 20/20, so I'm not totally sure of the outcome yet. But my proposal may give you a general idea of what my idea is - although not specifically how it fits into my life. I'm not quite ready to propose yet, though (sound like some men you know, girlfriend?). There are a few other things to talk about.
Right now, I feel like I've opened a can of worms and walked away. So let me return to the idea of working to reduce the amount of sin in our lives and put the top on before too many worms get out. Please don't think that I made a point two paragraphs ago for sinning as much as you like. I did say that less sin will probably mean more personal suffering, but I hope that you aren't selfish because I also said that this suffering is being used by God for a greater good - something you may not see until much later after that particular bout of suffering is over. Remember nothing would seem good (or great, awesome, pick your synonym) if you didn't have a sense of what bad means. So being obedient to God is still key number one. Even Jesus in a time of great agony asked God to get Him out of the crucifixion, but then said, "Not my will but yours be done" (Luke 22:42b). God's got a plan. I believe that the more you follow it willingly, the more likely that in the long run you will have suffered less. "How," you ask. Well, I believe that it will turn out to be more a matter of perception. I believe God will strengthen you, as He did Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, and you will be able to handle more without thinking that you are suffering unbearably. Remember: "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." Say it every day and mean it.
Now what else can I possibly say about suffering after I've basically told you to "suck it up" and "grin and bear it." How about, "Get over yourself, you're not all that with a bag of chips and soda on the side - especially compared to God." Gee, I'm really getting into this tough love stuff! Okay, what do I mean? Well in our society - the wonderful US of A - there is this belief that we command our destiny and we are the captains of our own lives. To some extent this is true. We have great opportunities and if we work hard, we can take advantage of those opportunities. But I submit that we need to rephrase these mantras. We forget the importance of God in our lives. We leave Him out until we visit Him on Sunday in His house. I'm talking about more than just saying grace and reading the Bible in between visits. Sometimes I believe He permits suffering to remind us of His importance.
Look at the Old Testament. Israel wants a king on earth. God says, "You don't need an earthly king. You've got me. Depend on me." Israel insists - what, God's not good enough for them? God gives them a line of kings - let the suffering begin. They lost their focus on God and ended up being ruled by other nations. The Jews during the Exodus start losing faith in God, want to do things their way - let the suffering begin. The journey to the promised land took so long, of the adults who started it all but two were dead before it was over.
So what's to be done? Well, take this test first. You've been nominated for an Oscar (or replace with your favorite award). You're making a cheat sheet of people to thank, just in case. If by some stroke of luck you win, you don't want to forget someone. Who's on your list? Who do you list first? Did God make the list? Did He come first or at the end? Maybe you're thinking, "But I put Him last so that I could say, 'Most importantly, I thank God, my Lord and Savior Jesus.'" That's really touching, and you're on the right track. But remember, you're speechless that you won. You waste precious seconds gasping out that you can't believe it. Your palms have sweat so much the ink on your cheat sheet is running and hard to read. They start playing the "get off the stage" music halfway through your list. Finally, they cut the microphone power and either go to commercial or start handing out the next award. Where does that leave your powerful ending? I suggest the following - just in case you're ever in that situation:
what I'm saying. Replace "throwing up" with your particular brand of suffering. What now? How can we reduce the suffering - maybe eliminate it from our lives? Sin brought it in. Is it logical to think that by reducing our sins against God that it should reduce the suffering in the world? Many Christians believe that. Many times you think, "I'm a good Christian. Why is this happening to me?" Or "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I'm guilty of that. Are you? Well, I have spent a lot of my pregnancy thinking about this and here's what I've concluded. First, name me someone who had less sin than Jesus. Can't do it, can you? Of course you can't. Well, let's take a look at His life. He didn't live into His forties. He was arrested, stripped, beaten to a bloody pulp, whipped, made fun of, spit on, forced to carry a heavy burden up a hill, nailed to the cross and left to die a slow, cruel death while the insults continued to flow. Kind of makes my severe morning sickness look like a skinned knee. The real kicker is that He had the power to come down and stop it all, but He didn't because of His love for us. So less sin will probably actually equal more suffering on an individual basis. Why? Well, I can only speak about my observations in my own personal life. It seems to me that when I am doing my best to make good things happen and do the right things for those around me, then I start to suffer the most. My motto is, "I must be doing the right thing because the Devil is making it so hard to do." Why blame God? He isn't the author of evil, but I do think He uses it for a purpose and I think that ticks the Devil off royally!
I'd like to start by thanking my Almighty God, creator of this wonderful universe, for putting it into the hearts of the Academy to first nominate me for this award and then to deem me worthy to receive it. Next, I'd like to thank Him for putting the following wonderful people into my life (I hope to get you all in before they play me off) ...
Also try changing your old mantras to: "God is my pilot and I am His co-pilot." Remember that you get the controls of your life when God hands them over. I know some of us are control-freaks. But when your life seems out of control, it's because you tried yanking the wheel from God's hands. Key number two: Depend on God. Fully realize your dependence on God (then He won't feel it is a lesson of which He needs to remind you). Don't ask, "What am I going to do?" Instead say, "God help me. Help me out of this mess that I made." Then surrender the wheel to Him. As Carrie Underwood sings, "Jesus Take the Wheel." It makes me sad every time someone wants to take "In God We Trust" off our money, but that's another debate.
My last point before my proposal is this: There is one major result of widespread suffering. What is it, you ask? Think about it and you can figure it out. Think about 9/11 and Katrina. People stopped thinking about themselves and wanted to know, "What can I do?" When the tsunami happened, the world reacted. We stopped being individual countries. Forget the Internet. That was when we truly became a global community. I believe that God is very interested in His followers being a true community. If you are asking why, I don't know that I've really got an answer for you. I don't spend a lot of my time using my brain (which science has proven that I probably don't use all of, and that pregnancy is having an adverse effect on) trying to understand all His motives. But I have some quick guesses.
Look again at the Old Testament. The Israelites are in Egypt. They've been forced into slavery. What happened? Their sense of community is strong, and they are working together to survive. Look at World War II. Jews are persecuted by the Nazis. Non-Jews who are part of the same community step up to the plate, risk their lives, and save the lives of many Jewish people. Before 9/11, many Americans thought that the Democrats and Republicans of Congress would never agree on a thing. After 9/11, they put aside their differences (which sometimes they address in their election commercials in the most despicable ways) and at least agreed on a song to sing together on the steps of Capitol Hill. What did they sing? "God Bless America."
Look at what is accomplished during these times. Remember how you felt as a part of the community getting together to do good for the people affected by the tragedy. Isn't this when many of us are following the Golden Rule all at the same time? That's gotta make God happy! We accomplish a lot for each other when we work together for the good of the world. At these times it is easy to see what that good is and how to accomplish it. Unfortunately, our ability to agree on what's right and what needs to be done to better the world breaks down after a while. We also stop donating our time, talent and resources until the next great tragedy. Why is it so necessary for God to allow that degree of suffering to get us to be the people He made us to be? Key number three, don't lose the sense of God's community. Every day, stop waking up and saying to God, "What have you done for me lately?" Wake up and say, "What can I do for You and Your people today, God?"
So my husband, who has been typing this as I have been writing it, has been waiting for this proposal (He's said I've been a tease every time I asked him to read just a paragraph). I think we all should make (yes, I'm going there) a "Stop the Suffering New Year's Resolution." They say to pick one or two things to work on each year, not a whole list. I figure three things are okay. Of course, I am hoping that you're saying that you already do one of the three, or that you sort of do all of them. Every day be obedient to God's will. Say the Lord's Prayer every day, with conviction - pay attention to the words, and mean them. God's will be done! Every day see God's hand in your life, express your gratitude and depend on Him to help you get through the bad stuff. Seek Him - go to the Bible, talk to your pastor/priest, pray alone or pray with others. Every day do for God's community (the world) - use your time, talents and resources. When someone asks for your prayers, don't lie when you say you will, or that you are praying for them. Thinking good thoughts about someone is not praying for them. Take the time to say a prayer. Keep it simple, like my daughter does. "Dear God, help ___________ in whatever they need today. In Jesus' name, Amen." Don't tell me you don't have time for that! Consider what talents you have. Find a way to offer them up to the world for God's plan. Consider your resources - not just money or things, but who you know and the influence you have with them. If people are doing for you - yes, I'll say it - pay it forward and do for others. Start small. Hold open the door for the person behind you. If someone drops something offer to pick it up. If a mother has a crying baby, don't get annoyed - ask her if there is any way you can help. Get involved with those around you - the strangers too. I'm not asking you to be naive and blindly trusting. I know that there are people out there who will try to take advantage and do bad things, but we only make it worse when we don't try to help.
Are you asking yet if I can guarantee an end to suffering? Well no, of course I can't. I'm not God. He may even be up there saying, "I know that won't work. She's got it all wrong." But I don't think so. You see, I started writing this because I believe that in doing so I was being obedient to God. And now it's nighttime so I'll finally get my nap. I've been depending on Him to guide my pen across the pages. And finally, I believe that I am helping my community by addressing this subject. And I figure, even if it doesn't "stop the suffering", or at least reduce it, what does it hurt? If we all concentrated on these three keys, wouldn't the world be a better place? I'm beginning to understand that my personal suffering is for the greater good of my community. How that can be true is a topic for another article ... I know Ken, I'm such a tease!
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