Stop the Suffering: Part II
by Mary Kay Coughlan
So it is finally time to reveal how my personal suffering helped my community. As many of you could discover from searching this site, I have volunteered for three years as the Event Chair for my local Relay For Life. In the beginning, I had been involved in another Relay in Virginia as at most a team captain for about 6 years. I was having a garage sale the summer that we moved to Maryland, and I met someone who worked at the American Cancer Society. I passed on my information because the Relay was a very important cause to which I wanted to continue my support. I receive a call the next January about this new Relay that the ACS was trying to start. Would I like to be involved in the planning? Sure, I've never been on a planning committee, but I wanted to help. I don't know many people in this area; how many other people are on the planning committee? Just you and one other person... Great. So because there was really no one else to take the position, I became the Chair of the entire event instead of just working on a small aspect of it.
That was how it all started. There were only really three of us by the time of the event that first year, but there were a lot of supporting characters that help make things happen. And we raised a little over $20,000 with only 13 teams. The next year only a few more were willing to step up to the plate and actually claim to be a part of the committee, but we still had many of the supporting cast helping us out. And we raised more than $45,000 with only 23 teams. So now it is last summer (2006) and the Wrap-up rolls around. I started praying for more committee members to help the event grow. You see I had realized three things: (1) no one else was coming out to take my place as Event Chair - the ACS likes you to hold a position for 2 years then move to a new role; (2) as a result, I was getting too much of an ownership feel towards the event - which I realized was bad for both me and the event; (3) if I didn't find someone to which I could relinquish my "ownership," I was going to get a massive case of burn-out. The problem was that only four people attended the Wrap-up (where you get geared up for next Relay season and recruit committee members). Let's see, there was a team member from our highest fundraising team and there was me, my ACS staff partner, and my (at the time) 4-year-old daughter. I needed HELP! Time to give it to God.
So the next month rolls around... and I suspect that I may be pregnant. So I start praying harder because I had massive morning sickness the first time. Then September rolls around and I meet my new ACS partner (my third in three years). She comes to the house to visit me, and I take her on a tour of our city. I decide to take her to some of the places where committee members work and introduce her. It was definitely not my day - each person we talked to was saying that they could no longer be involved. That morning I had woken up with what I thought was a small but dedicated committee that would be built on, but by that afternoon my committee was... me. So there I was staring in awe at a pregnancy test that I had just taken and wondering what to do. I had about a month of feeling good but tired before the sickness might come. That night I started my campaign - I stormed the Gates of Heaven with prayer. If it was in God's nature, He might have gotten sick of me calling and singing the same tune like a broken record. Thankfully, it isn't in His nature, and He answered my prayer. Yes, by making me vomit!
You see, I was answering God's call to help this cause because it meant so much to me. So why weren't other people getting as involved as I was? I've come to realize that there is a "reluctant hero" in most human beings. We will usually do something only when we feel we must. I took on the role of Event Chair because I felt I must. In my mind, it would have been silly for me to go around trying to recruit teams, get sponsors, etc. and say that I was the Entertainment Chair - especially if I was asked who the Event Chair was and I had to say that there was no one else on the committee. I believe that others weren't filling the need because they didn't understand that there was one or that it was a dire need. When I became sick because of my pregnancy, people started seeing my need, started seeing that the event would suffer (maybe not happen), and started taking on responsibility for more aspects of the event.
I try not to let myself think that the only reason there is an event at all is because of me. How arrogant that would be! But I know I had a hand in it; I know I made an impact. I know that I worked hard to bring it to this community - kind of like how I worked hard to nurture my son in my womb (vomiting and all) and then bring him into this world. Eventually, I will have to let my son go, out into the world, and make his own mark without holding my hand. Granted, I don't plan to do that after three years, but a Relay is a different matter. This past Relay season, my suffering brought some of the committee members out of the shadows into the spotlight of responsibility and allowed me to fade into the scenery. These people did an incredible job; we raised $100,000+ with 30+ teams. As the Event Chair, I introduced them during the Opening Ceremony of the Event. I called them "my angels" and told the crowd "they were literally the answer to my prayers."
The best feeling in the world to me is the realization that God is using me to fulfill some small part of His plan as I am doing it. It's like He showed me a page of His script, and said, "The highlighted lines are yours." It is my firm belief that God used my suffering for the greater good of the cause. So I vomited and went to the hospital because I got dehydrated, so I had to take an expensive medicine that was created for cancer patients who vomit and get dehydrated after chemo, look what came of it! He used my suffering to call others to the cause, and look at how He blessed their work!
I am now taking on a supporting role. Others are in the lead, and the number of supporting characters is increasing. All that has happened is for the best. I'm not going to say that it was easy for me. I'm not saying that I was happily throwing up for God's glory. In fact, I will tell you that as I was going through it I was asking for three things: (1) the strength to get through it; (2) that my baby be safe and healthy; and (3) for Him to tell me why. About half way through the pregnancy, I wrote that first article, and I was still suffering from morning sickness. It was then that I realized what was going to happen with the Relay, but I didn't want to put it into print. I'm not keen on the idea of being a prophet - most of them were killed!
My point is just this: God uses our suffering. Think about it... the last time you felt His call... wasn't someone suffering?
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